This week The Stu Pitt Award goes to ...


The worst pain product ever invented

Just before New Year's 2009/2010 my lower back hurt (I throw it out twice a year, whether it needs it or not). I went to my local CVS pharmacy for a back pain remedy. I wanted something with heat. I looked at all the hot stuff on the pain reliever shelves and finally decided on a large capsacin patch, brand name SALONPAS.

I bought it and went home. I read the simple instructions and opened the package to put the product on my lower back. It's a large sticky white patch and, before you apply it to your body, you have to peel the cellophane-like wrapper off the sticky side. I did that. So far, so good. I picked up the sticky patch and when I tried to apply the patch to my lower back one-half of the patch stuck to the other half, sticky part to sticky part. I tried to pry it apart. It was impossible to separate the sticky parts sticking to each other. As I tried and tried to separate it from itself other parts stuck together. After numerous attempts I ended up, not with a large sticky pain patch, but with a large sticky crumbled worthless mess of a pain patch, impossible to apply to my lower back ... or any other part of my body. After ten minutes of cursing I threw the whole mess away in the garbage. My back still hurt and the SALONPAS pain patch was a giant pain in the ---.

Who would make a sticky pain product like this??? Who would make a sticky pain product that you can't even use??? From now on, I'm sticking with the messy pain creams!

Congratulations, SALONPAS, this week you earned the Stu Pitt award.