Apple is scheduled to release 3 new iphones soon: 6S, 6sPlus, and 6C. They are also rumored to be working on a revolutionary new iphone, the iphone 7, for the following year. This is true.

I predict that dedicated Apple consumers will buy ALL of them.

In addition, in order to further addict consumers to their products, Apple will also shortly announce an eating and nutrition line, called iFood. They will also be opening a chain of coffee shops to compete with Starbucks. The Apple coffee shop chain will be called iCafe.

And Apple is also rumored to be coming out with a new line of bras, to compete with Victoria's Secret. The new Apple bra will be named, iTits. And, yes, iTits will be available on iTunes. Tits and Tunes, what more could you ask for?

At this rate, Apple will soon take over the planet with its products. And when they do we'll have to change the planet's name to iEarth.

The iphone stuff is true, I made up all the rest. Call it iLaughter.